Noah's surgery went well..We are home and settled now. Thanks for all the well wishes and prayers.
Pain Changes People: I have personally experienced this in more than one ways. All the way from socially to emotionally. Today is a perfect example of this. One of my bad days, I laid in bed the majority of today and didn't get up for anything. My girlfriend stopped by, she wanted to keep me company and unfortunately I was not feeling up to it. I was not up for conversation. I was however, up for snuggles and movies/sleep. But she isn't allowed in the dormitory. I would've gone to her house but was in so much pain that the stairs down to the car and the car ride would have been brutal. Pain Changes People: I want to be a productive member of society and work like the rest of the world. But I have to work a specific job, a specific shift, with specific accommodations to ensure I can fulfill my duties while in pain. I remember when I did a drug test for my job, of course my PM meds showed up. At the time it was Morphine, they were ready to let me go until they found out it was all prescribed. When they found out why they said, "We never would have guessed." Why, because we don't broadcast it, people with Chronic Pain want to be normal. We want to be seen as normal. Unfortunately who we are is not who we used to be. It's helped shape us and create who we are by molding us into a different person. I get agitated easier, I cry often, I seek to be wanted (despite my shortcomings), I desire to be loved, I seek to be cared for - not babied, I feel like a burden, I do my best to smile, I promised I never would lie to my girlfriend - but I often don't tell her the whole truth of how I feel, chronic pain changes people. It's changed me.